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.. not right at that moment.Instead, I leaned my forehead against the wall next to that door. I allowed the cool, almost cold wall to prop me up and I tried to draw that coldness into me, into the broken pieces of my heart. I wanted it to strengthen me, to freeze me, make me hard and numb against the world. I knew that without that coldness, without that numbness, I was going to fall apart. If I didn't let that coolness in, I was going to fall apart, a wreck of a man.Not for the first time in. That was it. The moment had passed, and my brain started to return to normal when I was finished. I pushed off of her, and asked her if she wanted to shower. She could hardly speak, but was as nice as someone that just got a hundred-dollar tip. She hobbled to the bath room with me and we showered, with me telling her how great it was, and how I couldn't wait to do it again! She just stood there stunned, looking at the shower floor. When we were done, we crawled back into bed, and passed out.. In fact, I looked like a 22 year old college student home from school and that made me weak in my knees and I sat at the edge of my mother's king-size bed and wondered what I should do. In a flash I knew what I wanted to do. I needed to talk to Shelly again. I didn't know why, but in an instant my pink-tipped fingers were dialing her number. "Hello." She said. "Hi Shelly. How are you this morning?" I asked realizing that my voice had a sexy draw to it that I didn't even know I was doing."I. ” Was all he said. She wished that he would pull her into his arms like he had done so many times before, but this was a time for talk not lust.“I got all upset today because Elli told me that you two have been together for years and that this fall you were getting married.”“What?”“Please don’t make me repeat that. You see because you have been so nice, and we have had a few uhh-intimate moments, I guess I got jealous. Now I know I have no right to get jealous but my feelings for you have.
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